Open Letter to a heartbreaker’s parents


“Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit!”
― Bill Maher

Vasu Mahajan

Picture courtesy: Vikran Mehta (Vasu’s best friend). Facebook via Deepika Bhardwaj.

 

In the wake of 20-year-old Jammu based Vasu Mahajan, who committed suicide on 1st April 2016 as a result of being betrayed by a girl – along with her parents- who financially exploited him for 5 years before ultimately ditching him for guy with a better financial status, I am moved to write a open letter to the heartbreaker’s parent who also had an equal hand in driving the guy to this extreme level.

Dear heartbreaker’s parents,

Having a child is an absolute bliss and nothing in this world can be as divine as holding the tiny hands of an infant. Your daughter is your pride, she is someone whom you love, care so much and bringing her up as a princess and are willing to sacrifices anything for her.

I understand that, but I would like to ask you,

Who gave you the right to ruin a child’s life of another mother for the sake of your daughter? How did she dared to play with his emotions and had the audacity to shrug off the request to see him last time by saying ‘I don’t care’?

Vasu Mahajan was 20-year-old guy who loved your daughter more than his life, took great care of her, fulfilled all her demands, never let the smile on her face fade away. He bared all the expenses, household and personal interest of her so that she could be happy. And what did he get in return: Betrayal, financial exploitation and dumped him because he was of no use thereafter. His 5-years relationship was ‘fake’ and he was nothing but a living ATM machine for you and your daughter.

Have you and daughter ever realized how painful it is for his mother who has lost her only child, for whom she had taken great pain to give me him a better life to live?

Being parents yourself, how could you be so heartless that you had the malign intention to kill a mother’s aspiration and render her childless forever?

Who gave you the right to drive someone to such an extent that he ends up committing suicide.

How could your daughter fake a relationship in the name of accessing his money and then dump him for her personal beneficiary?

On 1st April, along with Vasu, a high profile celebrity actress committed suicide by hanging herself. Entire world mourned for her and ganged up against her boyfriend who is now arrested for abetment to suicide and stands huge chances to be sentenced. The only difference is the actress will get justice but not Vasu.

In your case, your daughter would unlikely be convicted because not only Vasu deleted all her records but also she has a weapon to her disposal : using the ‘woman’ card and according to Indian laws and people and feminists, a woman is oppressed and cannot inflict atrocities on men.

Before stooping so low even by human standards,

Heartbreaker, have you asked yourself this question?

How would you feel if you were dumped by your boyfriend because he desired you for that one-night stand and discard you from his life?

How would you feel if you were sexually abused with no support system available for you?

Heartbreaker’s parents, have you asked yourself this question?

How would you feel, if your daughter – one day in your absence – hang herself and die because she couldn’t cope with the heartbreak and atrocities she’ve had faced at the hands of her in laws?

How meaningless would your life appear when you see your daughter’s lifeless corpse lying on the morgue section of the hospital?

India is famously known for the patriarchal system and the oppression on women have always been the topic of political and academical discussion and in order to protect the sanctity of women, several laws have been implemented to ensure no casualties occur. While genuine cases do reach the FIR complaint book, there has been an alarmingly rising false cases of rape and dowry against men and there is no stop on it.

There are no laws to save innocent men from this systematic abuse of law and till date countless men and their families have suffered the worst cruelties behind the four wall of prison just because they happened to be parents to a man and had the misfortune to get him married.

Today thanks to people like you, each and every individual are perplexed and scared to commit in a relationship fearing betrayal and abuse. If women are vulnerable to sexual assault, men are equally threatened by the potential false cases of rape that could be leveled up against him when relationships turns sour.

When a girl is driven to commit suicide, her boyfriend/husband are immediately prosecuted with Section 306 (abetment to suicide), Section 498A (Anti-Dowry law), Section 377 (Anti-Sodomy Law), Domestic Violence act, Section 354 (Anti-rape laws) irrespective of whether is he involved or not by the media trial itself forget court but when a guy is driven to commit suicide by his girlfriend/wife, there is suddenly a deafening silence everywhere. Even if the woman gets arrested under Section 306, she is soon released citing the deceased guy as a pervert or stalker.

There are many such men and boys who are in verge of killing themselves over failed relationships and broken marriage slapped with false cases on them, sadly there are hardly any helpline or Non-governmental organization that could help them get out of this mess because that’s how the law is implemented: Completely one-sided and loopholed.

Vasu will never come back and the void in his mother’s life shall never be filled.

How I wish he thought about his mother before giving up his life?

How I wish he could move on from the heartbreak that unscrupulous lover gave him?

How I wish he never thought to say good bye?

Here are my advice to all parents who loves their children equally:

1.) When you teach your son to respect women, teach your daughter to respect men as well because respect is always mutual and earned, not forced. Don’t teach her to use her gender as a trump card to extract forced salutation.

2.) Giving dowry is wrong, so is claiming alimony & if your daughter is financially sound, she shouldn’t even consider herself entitled to ask for it.

3.) When you teach your son to never sexually and emotionally exploit a girl, teach your daughter never to financially and emotionally exploit a boy too. He is also a human being and have feelings too. He is not a tissue paper to be used and thrown.

4.) When you teach your son to admit his mistakes & move on from breakup, teach your daughter to move on as well, do not encourage her to file a fake case against her ex because she was cheated.

5.) If you daughter isn’t ready to embrace marriage, do not force her. Let her decide when she wishes to tie the knot and with whom.

6.)If you aren’t convinced about your daughter’s relationship with a certain guy, tell her honestly about it. Don’t level up a case against him just because you don’t like him.

7.) When you teach you son that a woman’s no is NO, do take an effort to teach your daughter that a man’s no is also NO.

Finally, when you teach your son that it’s her choice, teacher your daughter that it’s his choice too. Stop playing the double standards you have been living with.

P.S : If I can be the voice for women, I will also be the voice for men who deserves to get justice as women does. I identify myself as a simple human being who is capable enough to differentiate right from wrong and never feel the need to associate myself with labels of feminist or a masculinist. I believe in treating people with utmost respect regardless of their gender, religion or orientation. I call spade a spade and shall always stand for what is right and condemn what is wrong and for that If I have to cross a path of hatred, I wouldn’t mind going because I would rather die by the hatred but will never let myself see an innocent suffer.